Forgetting Your Ex 

I decided to cook us a dinner. My parents were out of town, it was Saturday, a perfect night it would be!

It would take 20 more minutes for the chicken to bake in the oven, so we decided to light a cigarette. We ascended the stairs of the terrace and came to the extreme end of the railing. She then rested herself with her hands on the railing and gazed upon the clear sky filled with stars. The ignition of the lighter broke the silence of the night and the smoke from my mouth created a Bijou blurry curtain between me and the half moon in the sky.

“Ah the ORION”, she pointed out her finger at the sky.

“Which one?”, I asked having no idea of the area.

“See the brightest seven stars this side”, she replied again pointing out.

Still having no idea where the stars were, I kept my eyes on her shoulder so that my eyes would align with her fingers and I would notice it.

I could smell the fragrance of shampoo and the perfume that was on her.

“Do you see it?” she asked, still pointing out to the stars.

“Yeah, I see” I replied, still not able to figure out and falling deep in her chemical fragnance.

“Now you will see an hour glass shape……….” she continued describing the constellation as I immersed in the dope of her fragnance and kissed on her neck. And the half-lighted cigarette downtrended from my fingers on the terrace floor.

She drowsily crooked her neck in the direction of my mouth and turned towards me. Her face was so close to mine, I could feel the breathing of her mouth on my face. Our nose was so close to each other that only a thin sheet of paper would pass through it. Her eyes were glowing in the moonlight, and all I could think was to bite her lips. Her whole body sank forward into my arms. My lips moved against her’s, exploring her mouth so gently. She tried to mimic my movements-slowly, uncertainty until I didn’t have to think about it at all. It just felt right. She left out a soft moan at my reaction and cupped her hands behind my head, puling me closer untill I couldn’t tell where my mouth ended and her’s began. A liquid sensation swooped throughout my stomach. It was the most amazing thing I’d ever felt and it kept growing, the vibrating heat expanding outward. I was surprised I was able to stand.

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As we enjoyed the extasy of the kiss, a gentle breeze whisked. And by each passing seconds, its pace amplified more and more. The cigarette on the terrace floor rolled with the breeze and collided with my feet.
“Ouch!”,I cried and found myself on the bed.

Oh not again! we broke up a year ago but i still dream of her!

 

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Life has a way of going in circles. Ideally, it would be a straight path forward- we’d always know where we were going, we’d always be able to move on and leave everything else behind. There would be nothing but the present and the future. Instead, we always find ourselves where we started. When we try to move ahead, we end up taking a step back. We carry everything with us, the weight exhausting us until we want to collapse and give up. We forget things we try to remember. We remember things we’d rather forget. The most frightening thing about memory is that it leaves no choice. It has mastered and incomprehensible art of forgetin. It erases with details that dont exist.

But however we remember it or choose to remeber it. The past is the foundation that holds our lives in place. Withut its support, we’d have nothing in support, we’d have nothing for guidance. We spend so much time focused on what lies ahead, when what has fallen behind is as important. What defines us isn’t where we’re going, but where we’ve been. Although there are places and people we will never see again, and although we move on and let them go, they remain a part of who we are.

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This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, siblings, make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soulmate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.
There are things that will never change, things we will carry along with us always. But as we venture into the murky future, we must find our strength by learning to leave things behind.

 

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